How Many Roses To Give?
The Number of stalks of Roses U give to someone represents...

1 Love at 1st sight
2 Mutual Feelings
3 I Love U
7 I'm infatuated with U!!!

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The Truth From Children
  • No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
  • When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
  • If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the Second person.
  • Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
  • You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

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Statements That Guarantee You Won't Get Any!
  1. 'Oh, you had a bad day at work? Where's my dinner?'
  2. 'I know this is the fifth night in a row I've been out with the guys, but it's the Tyson fight.'
  3. 'I know it's a 3-day golf weekend...we'll make love when I get back, OK?'
  4. 'Are you retaining water this week?'
  5. 'I was only kidding...'

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The Assertive Husband
A husband is advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her you're the boss." The husband takes the doctor's advice.
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To Amarantha
by Richard Lovelace (1618-1658)

Amarantha sweet and fair,
Ah, braid no more that shining hair!
As my curious hand or eye
Hovering round thee, let it fly!

Let it fly as unconfined
As its calm ravisher the wind,
Who hath left his darling, th' East,
To wanton o'er that spicy nest.

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