We all know that communication in a long distance relationship is essential. But how do you manage to have an effective communication with your girlfriend, so that it does not seem needy, boring or unattractive? In this article you’ll discover 7 golden rules of texting that you can use in your text communication to avoid neediness and become more attractive to your girlfriend.
1. Rule of reciprocity
In a long distance relationship guys can easily fall in the need trap by spamming their girlfriends with a lot of text messages. And in my experience, neediness is one of the biggest killers of attraction in a relationship, especially if it comes from a man.
If you are the one that sends her more texts than she sends you, then make sure to either cut down the number of texts that you send her daily and / or encourage her to send you more texts.
2. Send and forget!
It happens very often that we send them a text message and then we keep checking our phone every 5 minutes for the next 3 hours, even though there’s no sound that says “you’ve got message”. We still check our phone to see if “maybe” you did not hear the sound, or “maybe” the phone is broken, or “maybe” she sent you a text while you were in the toilet, etc.
I have tried many ways to resolve this issue, but the best one that has been working form me for the past 2 years already, is the following: 1. Write the text; 2. Send it; 3. Forget about it.
My point here is that you do not write texts in order to get back a reply. You write a text because you want to tell her something, and THAT’S IT. You do not care if she’ll answer you back or not, it’s her problem. Also try not to ask questions – make your text more like affirmations rather than questions.
3. The Tennis Rule
Texting is a great way to stay on the top of her mind during the day, but you have to avoid sending her too many texts and looking needy. You want to be sending her one text, and then letting her text you back before you send her another text.
This way you throw the ball in her field and wait for her to throw the ball back. And of course you use the ” Send and Forget ” rule to avoid freaking out.
4. Use diversity.
What I mean by “using diversity”, is that you want to be sending her different types of texts, instead of the same old “love texts” that you’ve been sending her for the past 2 months.
For example you could be sending her sexy texts, funny text, teasing texts, mysterious text, updates about your activities etc. so that you keep things more diverse, so avoiding predictability and making your text communication more fun.
Also try to be a bit more spontaneous about texting by sending her texts at different times of the day, instead of a text around the same time every day.
5. Tease her.
Oh, I love teasing. It’s just an amazing way to keep attraction on fire, and it works so great in text game.
So, teasing is using a playful vibe in your text communication. It could have made her a compliment and then taking it away, like “You’re a very smart girl … Sometimes!”, Or it could be something like ” Really? You miss me, baby? … I understand you so well, I’d miss myself too if I were you. “
6. The 15 Minutes Rule
Do not be too eager to answer her texts back, but wait a few minutes before doing that. It could be after 10 – 15 – 30 minutes, and even a few hours later sometimes.
Of course you do not want to make a habit out of this, but doing that 50% of times will make you more attractive to her. And there are two reasons for that: 1) now she’ll be the one to be waiting for your texts, so very excited about receiving them. 2) You will not look needy.
7. Never have text fights!
Texts are a very impersonal way of communication, and can be very easily misinterpreted. If you’re having a tense communication while texting each other then better postpon the communication until you’ll be able to talk on the phone, or even better on Skype.
And that’s the best choice because else, you have to guess what’s being said behind the words, text fighting last so much longer than a normal fight, and then you also have the fight saved on the phone, and things that are said in anger are not the best things to be re-read again later on.
Now, I do not want to be too dogmatic here. Of course all these rules have their own exceptions, and given the circumstances you could send her 5 texts in a row, or you could have a text fight or you could be waiting for a quick reply from her.
My goal here is to give you 7 rules of thumb that you should keep in mind when texting your girlfriend, in order to have a more effective text communication, avoid being needy and keep your girlfriend attracted to you. But how you use these rules will depend only on the circumstances and on your own judgment.