Disclaimer: The item below was submitted and shared unedited. It is meant as humor and not meant to be offend or taken seriously. Romance 101 will not be held liable if you actually use anything below in a real world setting.

How to talk about men and still be politically correct…?

He is not a:  Bad dancer

He is:  Overly Caucasian

He does not:  Hog the blankets
He is:  Thermally unappreciative

He is not:  Unsophisticated
He is:  Socially malformed

He does not:  Eat like a pig
He suffers from:  Reverse bulimia

He is not:  A sex machine
He is:  Romantically automated

He is not a:  Male chauvinist pig
He has:  Swine empathy

He is not:  Quiet
He is a:  Conversational minimalist

He does not have a:  Beer gut
He develops a:  Liquid grain storage facility

You do not:  Undress him with your eyes
You have a:  Introspective pornographic moment

He is not:  Afraid of commitment
He is:  Monogamously challenged

He does not have a:  Fabulous rear end
He has achieved:  Buttocks perfection

He is not:  Stupid
He suffers from:  Minimal cranial development

He does not:  Get lost all the time
He discovers:  Alternative destinations

He is not:  Balding
He is in:  Follicle regression

You do not:  Buy him a drink
You initiate an:  Alcohol-For-Conversation exchange

He does not:  Fart and belch
He is:  Gastronomically expressive

His jeans are not:  Too tight
He is:  Anatomically under circulated

He is not a:  Redneck
He is a:  Genetically-related American

You do not:  Kiss him
You become:  Facially conjoined

He does not get:  Falling down drunk
He becomes:  Accidentally horizontal

He does not:  Act like a total ass
He develops a:  Case of rectal-cranial inversion

He is not:  Short
He is:  Anatomically compact

He does not have a:  Rich daddy
He is a:  Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion

He does not:  Constantly talk about cars
He has a:  Vehicular addiction

He does not have a:  Hot body
He is:  Physically combustible


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