Long Distance Relationships can be hard, and they often do not work out. However, sometimes they do. Usually, this is after some nights or days have been spent together totally immersed in each other and a real lasting connection has been made. It’s much more than just surface level attraction.
It is not uncommon in today’s times to hear a story where people somehow ended up together, despite being half way across the country (or the world).
So how did they do it? How do they make it work? I’ll happily share.
1. You have to accept long distance relationships are tough. Plain and simple. No real way going around it. There’s a clear distance between you, emotions and jealousy can get in the way, and you’ll wonder about what they’re doing. Then there’s the whole physical frustration too. AND you can make it work. See more for some things you can do to really give it a true shot at success.
2. Make a commitment. (This one takes guts.) But you’ll never know if its going to work out unless you really go for it. After you’ve accepted it will be tough, you can mentally prepare yourself for it and then work from there. Once, you’re both ‘in’ you’ll take it more seriously.
3. Have an understanding. (Sometimes it is not spoken. Sometimes its just understood.) If you want to avoid jealousy, concern and unnecessary frustration, agree to what it will be like. Are we seeing other people, or not seeing other people? Are we open to dating? Are we trying to make this work? Or just seeing where it goes? Whatever it is, its best to be on the same page.
4. Communicate often. It does not matter if you have an agreed upon time, or a schedule to talk weekly or monthly. (that would be very helpful) Or a mental plan of when and how often you talk, all that matters is that you talk. And use other ways to keep it interesting. Email, text, phone, skype, chat, video (see bottom of this post for a treat).
5. Save your money. Yeah, I know, you’re like “What?” But yes, this is important. Whether its long distance charges (obviously avoid it with Free Skype), gas money, bus tickets, rental car fee’s, or trips and excursions, you do not want a thing like money to bog you down from getting close to the one you care about. And you do not want debt to prevent you from this great connection lasting either. You also probably want to be together in person, that can mean flights, hotels, etc. Plus random fun excursions will really make your experiences exciting!
6. Keep the fire going! A big part of love and relationships working is about the attraction between you. If you want it to succeed you want to make sure its got fair share of HOT! With so many fish in the sea, and other people closer to you than your partner, you gotta keep them on your mind! And vice versa! Send cards, do videos, compliment them, tell them what you like / love about them, do your thing, talk dirty, show body parts, and I’ll let you come up with the rest. (I have something that helps out with this in a BIG WAY here.)
Sounds like a lot of work? It is not! You’re doing this stuff anyway in a regular dating relationship! And if you really want it to work, you’ll make it work!
My friend is in London, UK. He met a girl when he was here in Toronto and they’re still keeping in contact. They’re in touch often. They talk about each others lives, trips, experiences, they still ask questions, they chat and they do video. (A great tip at the end of this post, check it out!) Shes coming to London to visit him in a few weeks!
I have another friend who met someone online, started tweeting, then Facebook chatting, then using Skype, then falling in love. He went to Australia and met her where she lived. Stayed with her for 3 weeks, had an amazing time with her and came back to Toronto. They continued Skyping and talking regularly. Now, several months later and she is here in Toronto! Shes going to school here and they are living together, very much in love.
Its very possible people! Do not give up!
Here’s a little video I did around Valentines to share an idea, which totally applies here, so I have to share it! It would work in just the same way for a long distance relationship! Totally relevant! Use it!
Why does this idea work so well? So much gets transferred through video. Emotions, tones, feelings, vibes, and body language not just words! Which is why the internet is obviously heading towards everything video! Your mind actually reads so much more than just the words you’re saying!
In conclusion, (have not started a sentence like that since college) if you are committed to it, and really put effort into making it work, magical things can happen. And the universe will assist you too! You are not alone in this.
It kinda stinks I know. But if you really want to make it work, there’s more than meets the eye on your side.
Cheers and good luck to you! Here is that link again to one of the largest and best support tools I created.